Two weeks ago. I had a bad day. I've posted about it a few days later, how I totally shut down on a bench in a city centre and needed a lot of help from someone before I got myself to safety.
Once safe I thought about the number of people who had been staring at me that morning. Lots. And lots more. And in my precarious state I opened a notepad. It was a Functional notepad. It said so on the cover. A Wilko special functional pad of 80 sheets of thin A4. I am not sure whether this implies that their more expensive paper isn't functional. Perhaps if you've ever bought any you should return it to Wilko tomorrow and say you want your paper to have a function.
While in the garden having a one take attempt at videoing the words for yesterday's post I videoed what I wrote on the bad day. Another one take.
Warning: This Contains Bad Language. It contains sexual references. And it contains insults for any listeners or readers. If you're likely to be offended don't click on the video. And don't read the words either. Note: The words written here are exactly the ones I totally free wrote in the cafe. I stand by them. I'm just in a better mood most of the time!
(If you click "watch on YouTube" you will probably get better resolution for the video. I do.)
I see you. Oh yes. I see you.
Don't think I'm blind.
And I've got just one thing to say to you.
One simple thing.
So prick up your ears. You pricks.
Have I got your attention now?
Or should I tie a notice round my neck?
Big red letters in simple words for your simple heads.
Are you listening? Good. Then hear me.
Stop fucking staring at me, the lot of you.
I'm not that interesting just because
I wear the face of a man
And wander in your scummy streets
In a skirt.
What the fuck are you thinking as you look at me?
Are you trying to figure me out?
Am I a man. Or a woman. You could just ask.
And I'll tell you:
That's none of your sodding business.
Are you staring at the tranny who you think
Should get off your streets?
Do you think I do this so I can assault your daughters?
Then get real. I'm the one who should be scared.
Scared of the likes of you.
Or are you jealous? Yeah, jealous. That's you.
Wish you could be as free as me.
Wish you weren't so repressed and self-hating.
Do you hate me because you can't be me?
Or do you fancy me? Go on. Admit it.
I know I'm gorgeous and I can see the lust in your eyes.
You want me? You want me in your bed?
In your ass?
Well tough shit.
I'm not for sale or for hire you disgusting little turd.
Or maybe you admire me.
Well tell me. Please do. Don't just stare.
Life's hard enough without your stares
That could so easily be violence.
Yeah. You. I'm talking to you. All of you.
Just stop it.
Stop Fucking Staring At Me.