tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8292701047716374948.post5814985568035953077..comments2023-05-24T08:26:43.201+01:00Comments on Writings Of An Autistic Woman: Clare is ... The goodness of people and the overcoming of fear.Clare Matthewshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12711443219888099596noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8292701047716374948.post-89072931071257824622014-03-30T08:15:14.824+01:002014-03-30T08:15:14.824+01:00It think it's harder when other people are doi...It think it's harder when other people are doing the fearing because while it's hard to overcome one's own fears it's almost impossible to overcome someone else's fears.<br><br>And unfortunately, although most people have no worries, it's still a rational fear and I do know people who have been shunned by those close to them and important to them. I know full well that I've been very lucky with friends and family.<br><br>But no neighbour has said anything or treated me any differently and they're a wide range of people, mainly of an older generation from salt-of-the-earth working class born down a coal mine to people with very middle class attitudes. Apart from groups of teenagers nobody locally has given me any problems. But those groups of teenagers give lots of people problems.<br><br>Wandering round Newcastle and beyond, I'm pretty much always wearing a skirt. I happen to like them! While I look far better than six months ago I don't really "pass" if anyone gives a second look. But most days nothing happens at all. People either don't notice or don't care and most call me 'she'.<br><br>I can't say "I'm lucky" about my wanderings. I wander round the same Newcastle, the same Tyne and Wear as anyone else and pass the same sorts of people. But I can say appearance has something to do with it - both how we look and how we carry ourselves. When I started publicly dressing obviously as a woman I would get verbal abuse pretty much every time I left the house. But I didn't look good then and my confidence level was lower than that of the cowardly lion and it showed in my walk, posture, face and I suspect that was part of my problem.<br><br>This week I lost an excuse to not join the decent gym in town. I was dragged there by a friend who wants to join and we accepted the offer of a tour. I've been avoiding it because it has an open changing area, no cubicles. While I might have no problem being there and might have every legal right to be there, at the same time I can understand if anyone was worried by my presence showering with the other women. I lost my excuse. The woman there knew from the start that I'm trans, showed us everything and said it wouldn't be a problem in any way - and that I wouldn't be the first transsexual to use the place. It's good to know that there is unquestioning acceptance in this "women's" personal space. But frustrating - I have no excuse not to join now apart from my own laziness!Clare Matthewshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12711443219888099596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8292701047716374948.post-6929205825917009662014-03-29T22:20:12.001+00:002014-03-29T22:20:12.001+00:00The more I live as Angie, the less I fear. I can&...The more I live as Angie, the less I fear. I can't believe that people don't realise that I'm not all I appear to be but - save the odd occasion when I know my appearance isn't up to the mark, or the wind threatens to part me from my hair - I'm pretty relaxed about it.<br><br>My darling wife is completely the opposite. She fears that our children will shun her; she fears that her friends will disown her; she fears that neighbours will ridicule her. And because she fears and I love her to bits, I compromise and settle for a sort of half-life. I honestly don't know what the answer is, and I don't think it's just that I lack courage.<br><br><i>Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death.</i> Very true.Angela Kayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08882779021382371603noreply@blogger.com