In the middle of May 2013, I was visiting another church, a church of enthusiastic people with a love for the prophetic. I went there several times - the regular pre-service food is probably unrivalled by any church in Newcastle!
After the service I sat with two good people and they prayed for prophetic words, writing down a page of what came to them - with the proviso that they might not be right and that they weren't perfect at listening to what God was saying.
Of course the words could be seen as coming from the one God, coming from developing an intuitive gift, or as coming from everybody fooling themselves in the name of a religion. And they could be interpreted in many ways. But there are parallels, real or imagined, between the words and the paths I've walked in the last eight months.
"Feet walking in the same place up and down for quite a while. Sense of God changing direction of the route."
"A picture of an old cupboard you haven't opened the doors of for a long time. The Lord wants to encourage you to open the doors and examine with Him what you find in there. He will be with you while you do this. He knows what is in there already, so do not be afraid or hesitant."
"This cupboard might have a maternal link."
"God is calling you by name, calling you out."
Now, I'm not sure what those very evangelical, very charismatic church people would think about the path my life has gone in the last eight months.
But I opened the cupboard. I examined thoroughly. It didn't have much link to my own mother - but in the examining I became a mother and embraced the feminine/female I am.
The direction of the route changed drastically in terms both of gender and faith. I'm not walking where I was and I wouldn't be able to walk there again.
And God did call me out. They wondered hard about that one and then added a postscript. "... must be like Samuel." But it wasn't like Samuel. I was called out. And I came out. As myself. I came out to myself and then to the world and keep setting my public honesty bar high. I haven't been back to that church for ages so I don't know what they would think of my coming out in an LGBT fashion!
There were other "words" too. But "Believe Jesus" is obvious advice from a church - though I am taking it now in a "Believe Jesus" sense rather than a "Believe Christianity" way. And I don't know what "Get the DVD" referred to - I can't think it refers to any that I've bought in the last months!
Why am I posting this now? Because this morning in church I "received a picture". It came to me as strongly as any "prophetic word" ever did in the past. Since I'm currently not the monotheist I was I have to interpret the source differently. It arose from within rather than from without, albeit with influences from without and perhaps with influences from the interconnectedness of all things. We are one.
I'll write about my "picture" in my next blog post. Unless I get completely sidetracked by another facet of life before I write more. It's not a "picture" that would have been well received by the church I was attending this morning - and it's not a "picture" that will be well received by many of my friends. They'll reject it. But that's fine. It's just a "picture". It's not "THUS SAITH THE LORD."