Saturday, 11 March 2017

Guest Post: Joshua James, Spirit Medium and Healer. My Story.

This was free written on paper, Nexus Art Cafe, Manchester on 9th March.  Typed up with no alterations at all, 10th March.  At this point it's possible that I will miss a day or two of posting on this blog.  I'm visiting Manchester and haven't got a lot of time for writing and posting.  While I gave myself a little leeway I'm not sure I gave myself enough.  We'll see.  It's possible I won't have time to write again until I'm home.  But I could always borrow a story I posted elsewhere towards the end of last year.  I haven't posted it on this blog or on any of the blogs I was creating last year.  We will see.  I don't want to miss days but a post a day for a year is always going to be a challenge.

Image taken from here.

Joshua James.  Psychic.  Spirit Medium.  That's me.  I'm gonna be famous.  Want your fortune told?  Come to me.  Want to get a message from you mum?  I'm your man.  Believe me.  Come to one of my shows and you won't leave unchanged.  That's what one reviewer said.  Look it up.  If you like.  It's on my Facebook page.  They wrote that they'd never spent a better ten pounds and that I'd made them a believer.  That's what I'm here for.  And twenty pounds is nothing compared to the comfort.  Price of fame - I had to charge more but it's still a bargain.  And with every ticket you'll get a two pounds of voucher for my book.  I'll even sign it too.  For free.  Photos cost more.  Great book.  You'll never forgive yourself if you don't buy a copy.  And some for your friends too.  "Joshua James.  My Life With the Spirit World."  The stories will amaze you.  All true.  All of it.  That's what you get from me.  Truth.  Truth and revelation.  No charlatan tricks.  No fakery.  I'm no Psychic Sally.  I'm the real deal and you wouldn't catch me with someone feeding me messages.

Joshua James.  Psychic.  Medium.  Healer.  Yes, healer.  I only discovered my healing power a while back.  Thirty quid a session.  Can't beat it.  And while I can't claim you'll be totally well in a day I can say that if you come back regularly things might surprise you.  Lisa Colgan said so.  Said I'd cured her asthma, her bad back.  And her depression too.  All in only twenty sessions.  And you know you can trust Lisa.  She's got a good heart and mentioned me on TV once too.

It's down to her I got my next gig.  I'm playing the West End.  Seven nights in a theatre there.  They're gonna love me.  Of course.  I'll start with something simple.  A few words for the sick.  Then get on with the fine art of contacting the dead.  It'll be excellent and then I'm pretty sure I'll get a TV show.

It's all be worth it.  The years of struggle, rejection.  The times I got laughed at for saying it's real.  I used to play in local halls I did.  I was a half decent conjuror and mentalist.  Used to play to mainly empty rooms exposing the tricks of people like Psychic Sally.  Awful woman.  That's what I think.  I thought it all nonsense.  Cast myself as a follower of Houdini, James Randi, and the school of skeptics.  My friends kept telling me I'd make more cash if I fleeced the vulnerable.  But I kept telling them no.

Those were hard years. The Humanists would pay me thirty quid for an evening.  That was about it.  I went on tour once.  Paid for it myself.  Lost a lot of money because nobody wanted to know about Sally.  One time I played in Manchester.  Same night as Sally.  She sold out one of the big theatres.  I sold seventeen tickets.  I had a happy audience of course but happiness doesn't pay the rent.  Sally had no rent worries.  It was all so unfair.  Of course it was.  People are completely gullible.  Don't want to know they've been fooled, fallen for a false cult of spiritism.  "Joshua James Exposes The Charlatans" wasn't ever going to be a hit show.  But I was proud of it.  There were jokes too and demonstrations of fake mediumship, and fake healings that some people thought real even when I said they weren't.  I could hold an audience.  It's just I didn't get an audience to hold.

Everything changed a couple of years back.  Made a discovery.  I discovered that if I truly believed it was true then it might be.  I read Psychic Sally's books.  Saw her life.  Saw how she wrote about it all even while faking those messages and getting messages from people who weren't even dead.  And I decided.  I wanted a house too.  Wanted to be able to afford nice food.  Wanted to be on TV.  So I decided I would choose to believe.  Present it all as true until it became true.  In the middle of a drunken binge I realised I could change my act.  That I'd be more loved as the real thing.  That there wasn't room for two Derren Browns but plenty of room for another Sally.  One called Joshua.

So that's what I did.  The exposer of frauds became the fraud.  The monster slayer became the monster.  New show.  New act.  Totally.  My old friends laughed at me.  Called me scum, a traitor to reason.  That was fair.  I was that traitor.  Totally.  I own it.  But I didn't care.  The Royal had booked me without a second thought based on a five minute proposal.  Tickets sold out in a week.  And I became psychic.  Medium.  And lately a healer too.

Imagine my surprised expression when halfway through my second fakery show everything became real.  I received a gift.  Was given second sight.  I saw the dead.  Truly.  Saw the dead.  Lots of them.  I could have kept up that show all night, there were so many dead people.  It was brilliant.  You can read about it in chapter eight of my second book, "My Moment Of Truth."  Only twenty quid from all bookshops and two pounds off at my shows.  Chapters nine to twelve bring my story up do date and there some fabulous, totally true stories.  My psychiatrist tells me they're imaginary, that I just want them to be real and that I know so many magic tricks that my brain can just pretend.  She recommends anti-psychotic drugs.

But I know what I see.  And I'm going to be rich.  I can tell.  I can.  Because I'm psychic.  It's a gift.  You'll realise it too.  If you come to my show.  You might even be blessed with comfort.  You never know.  It's what you all want.  So come.  Be amazed.  And tell your friends.  Spread the word.  My name is Joshua James.  The real thing.  The best.  Psychic to the stars.  To Lisa Colgan anyway.  And I do it all for you.  The money is very good.  But I do it just for you.

(1043 words)

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